Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
