on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
