hell yes lets make some ravioli
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
