I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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