it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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