it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
