Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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