so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
