so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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