She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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