So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
