Slut skills are useful in every country.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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