Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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