So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
