apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize