He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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