honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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