I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
