Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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