i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
