To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I could fuck to npr.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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