That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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