These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
