i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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