Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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