All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
