Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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