someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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