Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
