I CAN MOONWALK!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
