from now on my penis is your penis
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize