I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
