I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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