At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
