Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
