We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize