Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
