She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
