I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize