one two three fourrrrnication!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
