wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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