My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
