You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
