Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize