i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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