Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
