last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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