Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
