In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
