Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
