i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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