brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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