things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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