It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
