I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
