Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
