I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
