Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize