Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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