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• (480): View more from Arizona

  You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I need a hug and tequila

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  This is why we need to live in the same city again

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• (631): View more from New York

  We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.

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