those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Houston, we have a blender
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
