i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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