If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
