I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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