We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize