FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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