That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
