OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
