i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
