im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
