Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
