he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
