Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
